SPOILERS

I’ve spent the past few days annoying everyone I know by going on and on about how much I disliked this film. So I thought the best course of action from there would be to annoy the entire internet with my thoughts.

Just kidding. Like the entire internet are going to read my post right?

Before I start, I’m going to write a summary of my thoughts here because the rest is a rant that not everyone will want to read.

It’s a weak film with a completely underused cast, awful plot points and an awful villain. It’s everything superhero films are doing wrong right now and a massive disappointment after the amazing treat we got at the start of the year that was Deadpool . For casual fans, from what I’ve heard, it’s a pretty run of the mill film. Nothing much to write home (or a blog post) about. But for a comic book fan? It annoyed the hell out of me.

I really bloody hated this film. First thing I wanted to say was why do all FOX superhero films look cheap? Like the CGI does look okay but at the same time the films overall look like they were made in the early 2000s. Is it just me? Probably.

So shall we start off by talking about the titular villain? The big bad man himself.

Ivan Ooze.

ooze

The plot revolves around Ivan Ooze, after being trapped for a few thousand years underground, he is unearthed and unleashed upon the modern day world, with the intention of conquering it. The only hope to stop him is a rag bag band of teenagers with special powers, who come together after their leader is unable to help them. In the end, in true superhero film fashion, the team overcomes the bad guy and saves the day.

Okay so that wasn’t the most original joke but do you see where I’m going? The plot isn’t exactly the same as the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers movie but it’s still pretty funny to compare considering the similarities between Purpocalypse and Mr Ivan Ooze himself.

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So first of all, I really am not a fan of the design of Apocalypse. The original released photos didn’t do the colour of his character justice, as for the most part, he is blue. However, I still feel like his design did not appear menacing whatsoever to me. As cheesy as it would’ve been to have a hulking, intimidating classic Apocalypse on screen, I’d of felt some kind of threat. Also, what exactly where his powers in this film? It’s never really specified what he can do and for the majority it seems like he can control sand and walls. Seriously. Think back to the film.

He uses sand to snap 3 guys necks.
He traps a guy in a wall.
He traps a load of workers in the floor.
He turns a whole city into sand and then builds pyramids with it.

Oh and he teleports. Okay. Sand, walls and teleports. Good job.

And let’s think about how he learned about the modern day world and the English language. He put his hand on a TV set and absorbed all the information. He learned about the history of the world (atleast the recent history in regards to the films setting) from feeling a TV screen.  Ultron did the same but that was using a massive, vast resource such as the internet. Hell, if I just came across the internet for the first time I’d probably want to destroy humanity too. But back in the 80s, with the way TV broadcasts worked, if a certain show wasn’t being broadcast at that exact time, how did he pick up on the signal? Surely that’s how how TV used to work?

See, even such little points made me put my hand in my head in the screen and wish I hadn’t made the effort to go to a midnight showing.

Also, there was one line that stuck with me throughout the time I’ve thought about this film. Apocalypse says to Charles Xavier, in reference to Cerebro, “You don’t need technology to enhance your powers” (or something along those lines). Right. So. This is coming from Apocalypse. The guy who became extremely powerful through him acquiring Celestial TECHNOLOGY. Now you might say “Oh but he didn’t have that in the film” really? Did you not see the things that look like wires at each side of his head? No?

Also Angel got knocked out by having his head knocked on a metal pole. Just saying. Weak as hell.

I could continue this article for a while but let’s be honest, who wants to read that? And also can anyone really consider this an article?

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